"For I dipt into the future, as far as human eye can see, saw the vision of the world, and the wonder that would be."

"Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it."

"There is no one, says another, whom fortune does not visit once in his life; but when she does not find him ready to receive her, she walks in at the door, and flies out at the window."

"It's very strange when the life you never had flashes before your eyes."

"The pain of dispute exceeds, by much, its utility. All disputation makes the mind deaf, and when people are deaf I am dumb."

"War is one of the scourges with which it has pleased God to afflict men."

"I say, thou mad March hare."

"LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience."

"God forbid that any book should be banned. The practice is as indefensible as infanticide."

"Melpomene was a substantial girl, thick of bosom, ankle, and forearm, rosy of cheek, and clear of eye. She seemed somehow incomplete without her hockey stick."

"Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week."

"Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund."