"This only is certain, that there is nothing certain; and nothing more miserable and yet more arrogant than man."

"In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain."

"In comparing various authors with one another, I have discovered that some of the gravest and latest writers have transcribed, word for word, from former works, without making acknowledgment."

"Why is it that we entertain the belief that for every purpose odd numbers are the most effectual?"

"The best plan is to profit by the folly of others."

"The only certainty is that nothing is certain."

"Method acting? There are quite a few methods. Mine involves a lot of talent, a glass and some cracked ice."

"It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity."

"Life is too short to be taken seriously."

"Would it upset men if they found out we weren't different? Are we? Aren't we? Damned if I know."

"Jews don't go camping. Life is hard enough as it is."

"You must believe in God in spite of what the clergy say."